Have you ever experienced unmet expectations? Have you ever been disappointed or frustrated when your plans didn’t go as you thought? Have you ever sat in sadness and didn’t know how to express that emotion? And then, God. He shows you something bigger, greater and more beautiful than your expectations and plans.
This fall session, a young boy experienced unmet expectations which led to disappointment and frustration…and then, God.
Lucas shows up at the ranch one cold, wet evening full of expectations. He tells all of us volunteers that his goal is for a fun evening with his favorite horse, Soldier. Soldier and Lucas have a longstanding relationship of dependency and connection.
Soldier has consistently chosen Lucas during class time.
This friendly paint horse frequently walks right up to Lucas to greet him week after week. However, this night wasn’t like the rest. We all walked down to the lot to halter up Soldier and take him to the arena for the lesson.
When Lucas enters the lot and he sees Soldier, but Soldier doesn’t come to him. Now, we can’t be mad at Soldier because he is just eating his favorite thing - hay! Who could blame him for not coming? However, the disappointment starts to set in for Lucas.
I and the other facilitators ask Lucas a series of questions to come up with a solution. Lucas decides that even though Soldier didn’t choose him, he would still like to work with him.
So, he halters Soldier, and they walk to the arena together.
Lucas spends time brushing Soldier, but every time Soldier moves in a way or does something that Lucas doesn’t like, Lucas responds in frustration. We notice how Lucas is acting with Soldier and ask him about it.
Lucas verbalizes that he is frustrated with Soldier because he isn’t doing what Lucas wants him to do. Jody and I ask him what he can do when he gets frustrated, and Lucas suggests taking ten deep breaths. So, that is what we do and then go back to brushing Soldier.
In today’s lesson, Lucas’ challenge will be to walk Soldier through the narrow gate without using any assistance of a halter or lead rope. Connection between the horse and young boy is a necessity for the lesson. Jody explains the lesson and asks Lucas if he wants to walk Soldier around and spend time together to build their trust.
Soldier is a regular favorite with students.
Lucas starts to lead Soldier around the arena and is met again with Soldier not listening to him. Eventually that frustration builds up to Lucas’s capacity. He asks me to take Soldier because he is not listening to him. He swiftly walks over to the south entrance of the arena, rests his arms and head on the gate. Lucas looks off into the pastures, not wanting anything to do with his favorite horse.
And then, God.
The Holy Spirit whispers to me, let go of Soldier. So I unhook the lead rope and Soldier turns to walk directly to Lucas. Soldier nudges Lucas’s back with his nose, and he turns around.
Lucas is chosen by his favorite horse once again. The two stand there at the south gate in unity. Now, Lucas is full of confidence to start the evening’s lesson. Lucas says, “Come on, Soldier,” and walks to the other side of the arena, enters the narrow gate, and sits on the throne.
Do you know what Soldier does? Follows him every step of the way!
Frustration left the arena that night and the peace and joy of the Lord entered. After class, I asked Lucas to discuss how it felt to be chosen by Soldier.
I also ask him, “Do you know who also chooses you and walks with you just like Soldier did tonight?” Lucas responded with a cheerful, “JESUS!”
“Yes, Lucas. Jesus chooses you every day, and he walks with you through the narrow gate that leads to life.”
Later, Lucas tells me what he wrote about in his journal, “I had fun with my favorite horse, Soldier.” Lucas accomplished his goal for the night. It may have not been the way he planned, but God had something bigger, greater, and more beautiful than what Lucas thought.
God doesn’t wait to show up after your expectations or after you feel frustrated and disappointed. He is there all along moving and working. He is there walking with you in your expectations, in your emotions, in your plans and waiting. He is waiting for the right time to show you something bigger, greater and more beautiful than what you thought.
He sees you. He knows you. He chooses you.
You are His beloved.
-Kaitlyn Kennedy
*names and pictures were changed for anonymity